Saturday, October 15, 2005

You too can live in 1945 France

From a mysterious mailer than landed on our doorstep this weekend:

Have you been searching for the perfect neighborhood in Northwest Arkansas? Are you tired of the rows and rows of look-a-like houses on postage stamp lots? Are you tired of words like "upscale", "distinctive", and "amenity"? Are you looking for that special neighborhood that stands apart from the thousands of others in Bentonville or Rogers?

Then welcome home, friends.

Say hello to the latest in subdivision greatness. Forget using words like modern, postmodern, colonial, mission, or traditional style to describe that sub-di-vision you're looking for. And get used to hearing descriptions like; "hearkens back to that memorable time, when freedom defeated the Nazis, and an entire continent looked forward to rebuilding."

That's right, if you act now, you too can own a cherished piece of "Tuscany," the latest from your friendly northwest Arkansas Developers™ and Realtors™.

Do you watch scenes from Saving Private Ryan or other WWII movies, and feel wistful for that special time in history, when houses lacked roofs or walls, and came complete with yards full of destroyed rubble, courtesy of the Third Reich? When you're looking for a new subdivision, does the sight of a wall built in the motif of a destroyed post-war French village feel like a big giant welcome mat?

If so, then you're in luck. Call now and you can purchase your own 2200-square-foot home that's different than 75% of the other houses in the neighborhood (In Tuscany, you can choose from FOUR different floorplans for our 125 houses. That's right, FOUR! The competitors only use TWO or THREE!) And know that the price of your house was only increased $10,000 to pay for the beautiful fence that we have built as a breathtaking recreation of Northern France in 1946. That's right, only one million dollars for that thing of beauty.

Who needs sidewalks, or a corner store, when you've got that masterpiece. Call us today at 479-xxx-xxxx to reserve your piece of heaven today.
Seriously. Just showed up in our mailboxes. Complete with pictures. Imagine that. Of course, I guess it should be "destroyed Italian Countryside" since it IS Tuscany.