Saturday, March 12, 2005

welcome, children

I'd like to start things off today with a simple proclamation. This world wide web site will be free of all performance-enhancing drugs. There won't be any congressional hearings in 50 years on the alleged steroid use of one retired "white-knuckled" citizen of this fair land that my distant relative Mr. Godric Finchale likes to refer as the "blogosphere." (Funny, I don't remember learning about any other "-ospheres" other than the ones that are above our heads.)

Of course, we all know the effect that performance-enhancing drugs like vivarin and methamphetamines (ride the snake) have had on the sheer number of "successful" bloggers over the last few years. (Like most of you who work full-time jobs and still manage to post 4 times daily and read 87 other blogs on your roll.) Nor will I throw any of you addicts under the bus in 15 years like the formerly mulleted and now paroled Mr. Jose Canseco when I have retired from the tiring profession of full-time blogging.

Which leads me to my next point. I find this notion curious of putting my thoughts Out There, especially because after 26 years of being alive, the only person who found anything inside my brain to be interesting enough to repeat to anyone else, is now forced to tolerate me 24-7 after making possibly the biggest miscalculation of her life when she said "I do."

Does anyone else find the idea of blogs quite presumptous?

I have friends who don't even want to know what I'm thinking on a daily basis. Shoot, my wife even has to have a break sometime. But now strangers should be interested in me?

I guess life in the blogosphere will take some getting used to, don'tya think?